Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Cheer up Lefties

Cheer up Liberals. The possibility that we live in a multiverse makes it likely that somewhere, somehow, the election results in 2004 were different.

The consequences are remarkable. A universe must exist for every physical possibility. There are Earths where the Nazis prevailed in the Second World War, where Marilyn Monroe married Einstein, and where the dinosaurs survived and evolved into intelligent beings who read New Scientist.

So it is possible, theoretically, that in at least one of the multitudinal universes of possibility that John Kerry isn't merely the biggest loser of 2004 but a huge, landslide, seachange, over-the-top, history-making winner!

In this hypothetical universe John Kerry is even now pronouncing the mandate of the voters: restoring integrity to America so that he can formally return the US to it's rightful place at the feet of the United Nations.

There Michael Moore is on TV everyday, on every channel, shaking his fist at the inverted 'states of red' who dared vote against peace and for the, by now, impeached George W. Bush, awaiting a criminal trial at the Hague.



John Kerry will begin bringing troops home from Iraq and embarking on a radical reversal of the crazy Bush doctrine.

A new, more intelligent, more effective War on Terror will begin. In cooperation with our allies, the democratic socialist countries of Europe, and the corrupt countries at the UN, some of whom are dictators and terrorists themselves, John Kerry will announce a new global effort to rid the world of injustice: "Operation Infinite Appeasement".

Good luck multilateral Kerry universe. You're gonna need it.

Thank God, uh sorry... I meant Jesus, that 59,834,725 Americans in this universe called Jesusland, that we don't have to see Operation Infinite Appeasement play out over the next four years.

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